Thursday, October 29, 2015


I had seen a UFO in the clear autumn sky, and when my mother and father didn't believe me, I drew and crayoned a picture of what it looked like, evidence.

This was while we were transitioning to move, after my sister was born, before the divorce, after I saw Star Wars, before my mother came out, after first grade, before third, and Christmas was coming, and after Halloween when I was so scared of the haunted house at school the teacher held my hand, and I can't remember her name. My elementary teachers: Crum, Wasserstein, ____, [move to new school] Nelson, Fink, Gillian, and Carter.

other questions

How do we imagine our experiences? How do these imaginations replace the realities we try to push away? How does our rejection of experiencing reality lead to our imagination coming up with reasons for that rejection?

I rejected seeing the film because the song was sad. Or was the song really sad? Or the film sad? Why did I reimagine other films for the one film? Films I didn't see became other films I didn't see?

And how did this all replace the things I was actually going through? And how did I switch from we to me?

Conceptual Movement

Take a drink of coffee. Speed-write in pre-writing.

Listen to the song. Find out everything about the song.

Write more. Write from memory.

View the film. Write during the film. Write about everything from that year.

Write everything past that year.

What was the transition of moving like?

How was my love for the song my fear for the song?

Why have I not ever seen the film?

Write about "girl". Write about "goodbye".

How is the Goodbye Girl a metaphor?

How is the vulnerability of boys compromised?

The all-purpose room. Being frightened by the haunted house.

Asmund turning the same age.

The Goodbye Girl

The name of a film and a song from the Seventies. When I was a boy. I took the Goodbye Girl to heart, thinking of someone leaving. There is a pre-writing, a listening to the song, a viewing of the film I never saw because I feared of being upset. A man and a woman on the beach. Is this the way we were? No. It's the goodbye, girl. I think of my time on Twilight Drive. I think of Maude Bishop, whoever she was. The playground. When did I begin losing my female friends as a boy? Oh, yes, later, but there were no friends for me back at Bishop. Did children have friends? The teacher wrote the three smartest students' names on the board. She thought I should be on Ritalin. Also, my sister.

Saturday, October 24, 2015

To get to PT's from the east

Follow I-70 W (stay to the right when you get to the fork) to exit 363 (Adams St).
Turn left onto Adams.
Turn right onto 15th St.
Take a left in the fork, onto 17th St.
Note: Brown v. Board is on your right.
Take 17th St to Washburn Blvd. PT's is on the NW corner of 17th and Washburn.

Friday, October 23, 2015

From Amy King, via Eusong Kim

Eunsong Kim sharpening her oyster knife:
"so today Nikki Wallschlaeger and I were trolled by poetry land's infamous troll persona. the account accused some poc poets of wanting to be published? that the motives of these poets were not pure cuz...they were publishing? all of a sudden a fundamental ingredient required to be a writer is contaminated cuz the ferals showed up. we've studied this game. we know what it looks like. do you know how repetitive you are?
this was my response:
I’ve never read a white critic critiquing the ambitions of a white poet—claiming that their ambitions are the basis of moral bankruptcy
all hollywood does is narrate the dreams of white characters. white ambitions=normalized but when poc are ambitious—this is a crisis?
it's cute that trollbots think that the way to get me to turn on poc writers is to discuss their potential successes
the successes & wins of my brothers & sisters & comrades do not scare me. i need your words. I want to read more of them. please keep writing
you winning is no threat to me. it’s a threat to them—
I hope all my sisters & brothers & comrades are ambitious.
I hope you wake up everyday with fire.
I hope your books overtake everything."

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

places of possibility

"These places of possibility within ourselves are dark because they are ancient and hidden; they have survived and grown strong through darkness. Within these deep places, each one of us holds an incredible reserve of creativity and power, of unexamined and unrecorded emotion and feeling. The woman's place of power within each of us is neither white nor surface; it is dark, it is ancient, and it is deep." 

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Observer Effect

Yes--I want to explore this.